I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about human beings and the way we interact with each other. Many times we don’t realize the fullest extent of the people in our lives that our actions effect. This is something that I am grateful I am beginning to understand and appreciate in my life because often times it is not realized until unfortunate circumstances or it becomes too late. We must always remember that everything we do has an effect or consequence and these effects/consequences are not just effecting ourselves but hundreds to thousands of other people depending on the level of the choice.
Human beings survive by breathing life into each other through relationships. Sometimes we forget what’s important, temporarily distracted by insignificant material issues but deep down I believe everyone realizes that there is more value in interaction with each other. We enjoy the company of other people for better or worse. This is why it’s important to be conscious of who you are surrounding yourself with.
I think I am finally beginning to understand this. We are all one big network. Human beings are intertwined with one another like a giant spiderweb. If you mess up one part of the web the whole thing is affected by the blemish. It sets off a chain reaction. When one person is affected it affects other people in that persons life. This is something that we must all be aware of and responsible with preserving the network.
Everyone indirectly knows everyone. Even if you’ve never met a person usually once you get to talking past the weather/sports/media you recognize a persons soul. We are all familiar with the different issues and emotions that we all deal with on a daily basis. I’ve found this to be true by striking up conversations with random strangers. Some of the best conversations of my life have been with people I’ve never even seen more than once. I think there’s a certain level of comfort and honesty knowing a person knows nothing about you and no one you know.
We spend entirely too much time worrying about what other people, especially those closest to us think about us. We spend too much time worrying about what others will say to our ideas or how they will feel if we decide to do something different/out of the norm. This I think is one of the biggest things we all have to learn to overcome. At some point we have to be honest with ourselves and make a conscious choice to be who we want in order to receive the things in life we desire or need. Honesty with self allows allows honesty with others. There can be no contradiction.
If there is an internal conflict between your thoughts and actions eventually it will begin to manifest itself as negative things in your life. You will begin to attract things in to your life that you do not desire. If it continues for a long period of time one little issue can spiral into a ton of other areas in your life affecting and infecting everyone that you come into contact with. Let me offer an example.
A few years ago I was a living a less than perfect life. I was fresh out of high school, young, naive and ready to experience all that life had to offer. I moved away from home life and went to college. College is an interesting time in your life because it’s the first time that you’re really away from your parents watchful eye and are able to basically make decisions any way you choose. I naturally gravitated toward the party scene and would many times find myself drinking heavily on the weekends at house parties and get-togethers with new found friends. In our culture there is a big emphasis placed on alcohol. It seems like everyone in that age bracket is really concerned with drinking. Events just aren’t fun, unless your drunk. It’s pretty much all high school/college aged students talk about. Of course it’s fueled by mass overloading youth with images of popularity/coolness associated drinking through movies, tv shows, advertisements, and an endless amount of other outlets. But I’m digressing.
In the first two years of college my main priority was partying as much as possible on the weekends to make the weeks go by faster. I couldn’t even remember or try to remember the number of parties I’ve been to over the years. It’s pretty much just a giant blur with a few distinct memories here and there. Nobody ever wants to attract negative things into your life bringing harm and trauma to yourself and others but this is where the old saying “actions speak louder than words” really can bite you in the ass if you’re not careful. Through the party years I would think nothing of being overly intoxicated and getting into a car with someone else or driving myself. In fact it was like a game or sport.
I never wanted to get in trouble with the law, or to seriously injure myself but I was living a life style that was only a matter of time before it caught up with me. You can get away with something 99 times out of a 100 and it only takes that one to completely alter everything you have going, erasing the other 99 times. Eventually after countless times of getting behind a wheel drunk I found myself smashed into a four thousand dollar light pole with a swollen shut eye and a police officer taping on my window. You see, I never wanted a DUI/a wrecked car/for my parents to find out how i was behaving but the fact that I was out there 2-3 nights a week drinking and driving said to the universe “hey this guy wants a DUI bad, he’s going out of his way taking all the right steps to attract one”. Well I certainly got one and there was no hiding it from anyone. It completely altered my life and in some ways I’m still dealing with repercussions.
This is where the battle between conscious and subconscious takes place. Consciously of course you don’t want a DUI, you’re constantly concerned with trying to avoid a DUI by doing a number of different things to lie to yourself falsely securing that you’ll be okay. But subconsciously you are working towards making the undesired result a reality. This is why it’s important to always try to think outside of yourself and the situation. We must observe our thoughts consciously and then examine our actions. We can learn a lot about ourselves by doing this. If you don’t want something, but you’re acting out actions that potentially could bring it to be, you are really subconsciously asking for what you don’t want.
This is why we have to strive to be conscious and aware of thoughts, actions and situations at all times. This will help reprogram your subconscious. When you have your subconscious working in line with your conscious you will receive what you desire even quicker.
Remember that we are all in this together. No one is above or below anyone else. We are like the ocean and rain drops. Many of us together create something powerful, and one stir in the water affects the whole ocean sending off a chain reaction. Be good to yourself. Think positively and strive to be conscious of your own thoughts and actions. Be thankful for all the people in your life that you effect. Don’t be afraid to tell someone how much they mean to you and your true feelings. Smiles and hugs go a long way.
One love.
Seems like a struggle with the paradox of cognitive dissonance. I kind of settled this myself by understanding that just as much as we are social creatures, we are also highly illogical. i don’t want cancer, but I smoke. I value others right to drive safely, but don’t do so myself. Personally, I found that much of these actions are attributed to being young and the invulnerability complex that comes with it. Some people never grow up because they never were never exposed to a passion; and their determination to reach their goals is constantly in disconnect with the need to “live life”.
While I do think that the media projection of what it is to “live” is partly to blame, I don’t think that the argument itself is convincing. It usually comes down to a myriad of issues stemming from socioeconomic realities to familial issues through childhood. While I understand your frustration with the status quo, I also think that rectifying these issues would take a very long time. I read the last part of your post to signify that personal responsibility is the best remedy, and I wholeheartedly agree; however, when that is presented as the cure we have to pray that enough people take it to heart. Unfortunately, most younger people today seem to have no problem meeting the bare minimum standards and lying to themselves that if they are doing what everyone else is, that they are right and morally unobjectionable in the eyes of society. Even more, this ends up being somewhat true. People do seek out the opinions of their peers to validate their behavior.
It was a thoughtful post, but I guess I just find myself a little more skeptical of our predicament as a society. This is the same tension I have with religion as well. I see the great potential of religion to be a force for dramatic positive social change in this country, but cannot resign myself to agree with the underlying assertions made by the Church. I’m not sure if it is pride in some form of logical prowess I imagine myself having that keeps me from supporting organized religion, but something about it all seems fake. Really what I wonder is if I should support such movements that do really help others and improve quality of life while fostering community if those results stem from a lie. Sadly, since I lean toward deontology as an ethical guidepost I find religion, even with great societal benefit, to be impermissible as a form of benefiting society.
Overall, we must rely upon ourselves, not others, to improve life for everyone. In this world of materialism and instant gratification, ignoring our own compulsion toward paradoxical action seems to not only be accepted, but supported. It is sad, but I really wish things could get better too.
Good points. I understand where you are coming from. I think the line “Overall, we must rely upon ourselves, not other, to improve life for everyone” says it all. All though it’s possible it could change over night it most likely won’t but the fastest way to change it is to do it yourself and set the example for others. At the end of the day that is the only thing that matters. I just try to make people aware of the possibility and of problem. I understand your skepticism with organized religion. I think that plays a big part on the cognitive dissonance that we as a society seem to accept. Perhaps I will write a blog on that sometime in the future. Thank you for reading and taking time out of your day to write a well thought out response.